That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
