You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I am available for nakedness
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
