my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
