i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
