If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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