when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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