Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
