i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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