i already hear my dad disowning me
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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