Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
