i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
