i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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