im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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