Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
