never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
