I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
