You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
