There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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