Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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