I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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