Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
