It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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