You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
