We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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