Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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