help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
