She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
why do cheetos always look like penises
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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