Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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