Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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