he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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