Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
