i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
is it fun? or sober?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize