I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
