What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
