I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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