i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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