Nicole vs. Life
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
