walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
