with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
