i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
