As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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