dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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