I wanna passion pit in your ass
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
