Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You ate ashes out of my bong
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
