We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
