He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
