Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
