Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
