for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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