The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
