It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I lost the right to judge tonight
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
