why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
