my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
