Tell her she can't have a vagina
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
