It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
