Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
