According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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